Broken, torn, smashed, shattered, throbbing, aching, bleeding.
The condition of my heart.Will it beat on? This Much I know -It must.
You're still out there, Ive no choice but to continue.
You have been MY Reason these past 19 years, even more so these most recent years.
My reason to keep going- My reason to keep believing- My reason to get out of bed most days.
19 years and yet it seems like only yesterday when I tenderly held you in my arms and dedicated
you to God. I vowed the moment you were born and on that day no one and no thing would ever
harm you and sometimes that even meant me.
I vowed to edify, encourage, NEVER judge, ALWAYS Love .. YOU.
In a few short weeks you will be off on your own.
The truth.. You've always been "on your own" in that I have always believed in you .
Always given you the freedom to BE YOU.... that baby girl will NEVER change.
You've always been an independent thinker, creative, edgy, and outside of the box.
I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU!
I thought perhaps, since it was just a few short years ago I went through some very similar emotions with your sister, that this time would be easier. IT'S NOT.
I have all the faith, trust and pure joy of knowing that YOU will be fine.
It is my selfish heart that can scarce bare the deprivation I am about to face.
Still I press on, looking forward to all that you will do, accomplish, feel, & experience.
Alas I am back in this place where I have to let go a little more...each day.
I have to let you go...
Out into this crazy world that my invincible Daughter will take on and CONQUER!
It is a mothers plight in life to hurt, agonize, worry, cry and pray for that baby as she grows and then as.... She Goes.
What else is a girl with your talent, your beauty, and your vision to do?
You must! You cannot be held back.
As much as I know you love me best- It could not be a pure LOVE if
I did not give you every blessing and advantage possible, for you to take this world by storm.
This much I DO KNOW.. Your path IS ordered by God.
You have never been "mine" you have always only been on loan to me from God.
I'm certain I will hear from you regularly, you will come visit for holidays.
I will always be "ma ma" to you. I will always be here for you.
Our relationship will change as it remains the very same.
Subtle, quiet, behind the scenes...
This day brings to you and I a new stage. A turning point.
We will not return unchanged!
I lament the loss of this place, this life, this relationship.
This is an essential time and transition for you,
one that for your mother, must come at a price.
It hurts....but it's a beautiful hurt.
A hurt that only comes from deep, unconditional love.
Your mothers love. I miss every stage of your life. I miss my little girl.
We've planned so many turning points in your life together and this one we've been planning your whole life. We've talked about it all along as it formed, took shape, changed shape and began to solidify into your dream, one carved out from the very beginning.... Uniquely you!
You listened all those times I spoke of choices, and how each one effects the outcome of tomorrow.
You have succeeded in every single thing that you have put your mind to.
There has always been a little bit of fear as you've faced each challenge,
but you did it!
The only difference is now I will hear only bits and pieces by phone or email.
I no longer get that front row seat to my beautiful girl.
I am a phone call away. I'm here ALWAYS!
I couldn't be more proud of you.
I hold my heart in pieces.
Beautiful broken heart.
That is your mothers love.
I love you baby girl.
By Storm You Will Take On The World!
Love,
Mom~
The condition of my heart.Will it beat on? This Much I know -It must.
You're still out there, Ive no choice but to continue.
You have been MY Reason these past 19 years, even more so these most recent years.
My reason to keep going- My reason to keep believing- My reason to get out of bed most days.
19 years and yet it seems like only yesterday when I tenderly held you in my arms and dedicated
you to God. I vowed the moment you were born and on that day no one and no thing would ever
harm you and sometimes that even meant me.
I vowed to edify, encourage, NEVER judge, ALWAYS Love .. YOU.
In a few short weeks you will be off on your own.
The truth.. You've always been "on your own" in that I have always believed in you .
Always given you the freedom to BE YOU.... that baby girl will NEVER change.
You've always been an independent thinker, creative, edgy, and outside of the box.
I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU!
I thought perhaps, since it was just a few short years ago I went through some very similar emotions with your sister, that this time would be easier. IT'S NOT.
I have all the faith, trust and pure joy of knowing that YOU will be fine.
It is my selfish heart that can scarce bare the deprivation I am about to face.
Still I press on, looking forward to all that you will do, accomplish, feel, & experience.
Alas I am back in this place where I have to let go a little more...each day.
I have to let you go...
Out into this crazy world that my invincible Daughter will take on and CONQUER!
It is a mothers plight in life to hurt, agonize, worry, cry and pray for that baby as she grows and then as.... She Goes.
What else is a girl with your talent, your beauty, and your vision to do?
You must! You cannot be held back.
As much as I know you love me best- It could not be a pure LOVE if
I did not give you every blessing and advantage possible, for you to take this world by storm.
This much I DO KNOW.. Your path IS ordered by God.
You have never been "mine" you have always only been on loan to me from God.
I'm certain I will hear from you regularly, you will come visit for holidays.
I will always be "ma ma" to you. I will always be here for you.
Our relationship will change as it remains the very same.
Subtle, quiet, behind the scenes...
This day brings to you and I a new stage. A turning point.
We will not return unchanged!
I lament the loss of this place, this life, this relationship.
This is an essential time and transition for you,
one that for your mother, must come at a price.
It hurts....but it's a beautiful hurt.
A hurt that only comes from deep, unconditional love.
Your mothers love. I miss every stage of your life. I miss my little girl.
We've planned so many turning points in your life together and this one we've been planning your whole life. We've talked about it all along as it formed, took shape, changed shape and began to solidify into your dream, one carved out from the very beginning.... Uniquely you!
You listened all those times I spoke of choices, and how each one effects the outcome of tomorrow.
You have succeeded in every single thing that you have put your mind to.
There has always been a little bit of fear as you've faced each challenge,
but you did it!
The only difference is now I will hear only bits and pieces by phone or email.
I no longer get that front row seat to my beautiful girl.
I am a phone call away. I'm here ALWAYS!
I couldn't be more proud of you.
I hold my heart in pieces.
Beautiful broken heart.
That is your mothers love.
I love you baby girl.
By Storm You Will Take On The World!
Love,
Mom~
